Sole Divas DIY

READ EPISODE 4 HERE The 1 hour flight from Lagos to Warri seemed like a 5 hour flight, I couldn't wait to see my mum, she was all I wanted at this time - to hug her and have her hold me in her arms as I cry out all my confusion, fears, anger and frustrations on her bosom, I was emotionally exhausted and it was for this reason I booked the next available flight to Warri right after hanging out with Kunle last night. Hanging out with Kunle was for me to let off the steam from a bad day but it turned out to be a disaster. First, Chris had called me sometime about 9.00 pm requesting for some documents he needed for a Monday meeting, like work was what I needed to deal with in that moment and then came Kunle heaping so many emotions on me. Airborne, all I could think of were the things he said to me and it was still so loud in my head like he was right there with me on the plane saying them all over again. "Hey Adesuwa, can we talk?" He had started, with my head leaning on his shoulder as I enjoyed the vibes of the music from the band at Wine House where we had taken me to. I raised my head up to face him, adjusting my dress and taking a sip of my Escudo Rojo Red wine. "Wasup, sure we can". He hesitated for a few seconds, obviously struggling with what he wanted to say. "Ok, i'm just going to be out with it", he looked at me and emptied his wine glass. "You're making me nervous Kunle, what is it abeg?" I said becoming really anxious. He became serious "I know this may not be the right time but I doubt there'd ever be a right time. The thing is, I like you Adesuwa, a whole lot. It goes beyond our friendship, which I cherish so much, and I love you beyond the sex too. I want you more than friendship and sex. I mean, I've seen you grow all these years and I'm grateful for how you've helped me grow too. I understand your reservations about not wanting to commit to a relationship, but I also need to let you know how I feel. He paused. "I've fallen in love with you babe and It gets more intense every time we are together. I've tried to control these feelings for so long, getting into relationships I don't invest in, but it just won't go away. It's starting to hurt me feeling this way and not being able to express myself to you.I want to marry you Adesuwa, I want to do the rest of my life with you, I want to protect you, make you laugh, provide for you and just love you every way I can. I want us to make babies together...

Adesua Eromosele I watched in agony as 8 well manicured hands shot up in the air, supporting the motion to make Chris Arinze the Managing Director, Solartech Group of Companies. If I had to be honest, he was deserving of the position. I mean, he was good at what he did and for the 5 years I have worked with him, I have known him to be nothing short of hardworking and dedicated to every job role he had to take on. But I couldn't see past my intense hate for him. Adesua Eromosele I was sitting in one of our favorite jazz bars waiting for Kunle to join me. It was a Friday night and after a long day at work, all I wanted was to let down my hair, let out all my frustrations, have a good laugh over drinks and maybe end up having sex with my best friend. Friendship with Kunle was so easy, I could talk to him about anything and everything and not feel like I was being judged, look my worst and not feel uncomfortable, be at my most vulnerable and know that I won't be taken advantage of. We met during our service year in Taraba State, 10 years ago and hit it off immediately with absolutely no strings attached. Through the years we managed to maintain our friendship as we both went in and out of several love relationships with other people. Precisely 5 years ago, there was a twist to our friendship. I had just ended another relationship that didn't last for up to 4 months and was really heartbroken. I found out the guy I was dating was married with kids and I had invested a lot of my emotions in that relationship, the discovery broke me. As usual, I had gone crying to Kunle and in the heat of the moment, we had sex. He became a mess after that, blaming himself for taking advantage of my vulnerability. He apologized severally but the irony of it all was that I wasn't upset, I didn't even see it that way. I actually did enjoy having sex with him and thought nothing more to it. It was just sex, sex with my friend. We talked about it and agreed to put it behind us and continue being friends. But we couldn't seem to get our hands off each other anytime we were together alone, and soon, sex became a part of our friendship. We made it clear we weren't going to get emotionally entangled and that's how we became Friends with benefits. As we spent the night drinking and listening to jazz music, talking about everything under the moon, I felt all the stress and anger in me melt away and I looked forward to the rest of the night with my besto as we both fondly called each other. For a moment, my thoughts wandered to Chris and how he must celebrating his promotion, I cringed. The son of a b***h. ************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************ TONYE PRINCEWILL ARINZE I held back my tears as I read the message on my husband's phone. Years ago, I would have gone into a fit, screamed the roof off and let all hell lose. But over the years, with each episode of infidelity with Chris, I had developed some form of resistance to the hurt, for my sanity. That is not to say it didn't hurt, but I no longer allowed his mess get the best of me. I have known Chris for about 13 years - Friends for 1, dated for 2 and married for 10. We met at the airport lounge of the Murtala Muhammed International airport while we were waiting to get on board our flight to London. I was going back to school after visiting my family for the summer break and he was taking his younger sister to resume her first year in Uni. We stayed in touch after exchanging contact details and started dating after about a year. I had just graduated and decided to move back to Nigeria. Our 2 years of dating were the best years of my entire life, Chris made me feel like the world revolved around me and when he proposed, I didn't think twice about my response, It was my dream come true - becoming Mrs Arinze. Chris didn't let me get over the euphoria of our honeymoon when the philandering started. The first time I found out he was having an affair, I was livid, I almost ran mad. After a lot of pleading and promises, I forgave him and soon after, I got pregnant with our first child. That was just the beginning and year after year, it was one woman and then another till I lost count. With every affair, through the drama that followed , something in me died. He started to get defensive and no longer apologized. He blamed me for his affairs. I lost my sense of self and my self esteem dipped. I had our 3 children in the space of 6 years and they were the only reasons I remained in my marriage. I loved Chris genuinely but I knew it was time for me to look out for myself and go back to living my dreams and achieving all those goals I set growing up. I put his phone back on the table and not longer after, he came out looking and smelling all fresh. I didn't bother to ask him where he was going to, I wanted to save myself the torture of his lies. It would have been nice to celebrate his promotion with him but obviously he had other plans, other plans with his mistress. Tonye Arinze ************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************ OMOLOLA FAJIMI I knew he was watching me, I knew he wanted me and I wanted him as bad, but I needed to keep him eating from out of the palm of my hands. The almighty Chris, adored by everybody, every woman's dream, someone's husband, yet he could never get enough of me, and my intention was to keep it that...

It's another Wednesday and today I am crushing on every woman reading this post because you are very beautiful. And no, it is not lip service or flattery. I know you are beautiful and you need to know it too. I have realized that a lot of people find it difficult to accept compliments. So, I say to someone, "You look so pretty" and I hear "Hmmmn, if I hear say I fine, me that I look like a baby whale". I used to be guilty of this but not anymore, now I take every compliment with a big smile and a very loud "Thank you". We spend too much time focusing on everything that is wrong with us and fail to acknowledge our gorgeous features. This dips into our confidence and ruins our entire look. There was one time I complimented on a lady's tall, slim and very shapy figure. She did a complete *yimu* and said "with this my overlong torso", I lost my balance. Sexy torso that we are jogging round the estate to have. Shout out to every woman who knows they are beautiful, accepts they are beautiful and owns their beautiful. If you're not in that league, it's time to fix it. I'd be sharing some tips on things I do to make sure my BEAUTIFUL is not eroded by my so called flaws. First, you need to understand that her beautiful is NOT your beautiful, stop trying to look like everyone else. While you sit around comparing yourself to the next person in the room, understand that we are all different and none of us is perfect. Ese is an urban retro chic, she loves her natural afro hair, loves the African vibe and you'd find her in vintage prints and mom jeans from the 60's. It's her style, she has mastered it over time, she's comfortable with it and carries it with confidence. Rita on the other hand is a girly girl, she loves her hair long and full, with edges sleeked and very well laid, she loves her short pretty dresses and has lovely legs to flaunt. She focuses on her strengths, exudes a lot of confidence and it looks good on her. We admire them and wish we could look like them. They are always well put together and look amazing. You can be them too, but you need to find your beautiful, accept it and own it with pride. Fat, skinny, long torso or broad shouldered, there's always something you can wear to hide your flaws and enhance your good features. The second thing to do is to find a go to outfit that ALWAYS works for you and then build up on styling it. Depending on your lifestyle, there must be that one look you can always count on. For me, It's a pair of jeans and a round neck Tee Shirt. I don't think I can ever go wrong with that and I have figured out different ways to dress it up to suit different occasions. I would wear it casually with flat sandals, flat shoes or a pair of sneakers to run errands. I would dress it up with a pair of killer heels, a blazer or an overload of accessories(statement earrings, a hat) just to spice things up. It never fails me. For you, it could be a dress but whatever it is, stick to it and find different ways to work with it. Never be afraid to experiment. Never say never. Fashion evolves, move with the flow without losing your personality. I don't like pink, I like to tell myself i'm not a girly girl and pink reeks of all things girly girl (*Sigh* I don't even know how I got that). Anyway, I would never buy anything pink until my friend sent me this pink kaftan. It was in my closet for months until one Sunday morning, I needed something quick and easy to wear to church and then I brought it out reluctantly. This look remains one of my favorite till date and I have bought two pink blouses and a pink belt since then. What's that one thing you say you will never wear? Try it today. If it doesn't work for you, ditch it and move on to the next but never stop trying new things. Another thing that works is to find expression through other things like your hair, make up, jewelry, nail polish and so on. When you can't be bothered to go the extra mile to nail your outfits back to back everyday of the week, you can express your style in that basic black skirt and shirt through an outrageous lip color or hair style. Come up with anything that will brighten up that boring outfit. Be extra with the length of your hair or that extra hair color, try on bright purple lipstick and see how it changes everything. If you never try, you will never know. Invest in statement pieces - Shoes with a pop of color or print, Chunky neck pieces, rings, bags, just about any fashion accessory that will not go unnoticed. This will help draw attention away from everything else. Ask questions, if you are not sure. Google is your friend. Next time you're stuck with an outfit, how about you type in the search box 'What to wear with a purple knee length dress', you'd be amazed the helpful tips and pictures that will come up. If you're still not convinced, ask a friend. There must be a friend you know who is fashion savvy and will be honest with you or better still engage the services of a wardrobe stylist. Take pictures. For every look you nail, take a picture. This will serve as a reminder on the days you feel off that you are actually very gorgeous. I do this a lot. Selfies, full shots, different angles, I constantly remind myself how beautiful I am and you can't tell me nothing. Put in the effort required, it won't happen over night. You don't have a team...

  Happy Nu Yearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - My grin is wide, my voice is hoax and I am, as always, very excited to get in my first blog post for the year Twenty Nineteeeeeen. After a short but interesting holiday, it's safe to say your favorite #shoelover and fashion enthusiast is back to what she knows how to do best. (*WINK*)  

If like me you're a 'simple' dresser but like to stand out, then you need to invest a lot more in accessories. There are quite a number of accessories you ignore or overlook that'd make a lot of difference with your outfits. And if there are flaws you like to hide that have stopped you from buying certain clothes, I'd share a few hacks with you. This post will basically be showing you fashion items to keep you in the game.  

One week, no post. Who missed me? I'm cooking up a storm for the next blog drama series and again i'm excited. While we wait, you can catch up on the just concluded Endangered In Heels.      On today's Style Guide post, I'd be sharing my top 5 accessories to work up a great dress up session. As a plus size, I tend to keep my outfit as simple as possible. As much as I love the edgy, avante garde side of fashion, it is imperative that I keep it simple.      

Hi guys, how's it been with my favorite people in cyber space? Hope we are all a bit more relaxed about fashion and having fun with it. The last time on Soledivas Style Ideas, I highlighted the color of shoes that best go with Orange and Yellow and I'm glad that quite a number of people got ideas from that post they have used.     I'd be working with Blue and Green outfits and the color of shoes that best go with them today. Green is my favorite color ever, I can't say it enough and it is easy to work with because it has so many shades. There's always a shade of green for everyone.  Blue is a color hue close to green and that is why I have paired them as I'd be using almost the same ideas to work with them.  

We tend to shy away from many color of clothes, or at the most, play it safe and I have found that with styling, there are no hard and fast rules and fashion is supposed to be fun.   Bright colors are in this season and the brighter, the better. I'd be focusing on Orange and Yellow in their many shades, and the color of shoes that best go with them. Whether you want a monochrome look, a mix of colors or just 2 colors that complement each other, here are a few style ideas for you.    

RELATED POST: ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL

   

Before you sigh and calculate how one year is 365 days, those days go by very fast and before you know it, your goal is well on it's way to being achieved. So yes, you can set your shoe closet goals and achieve them within a year.   In setting your goals, you need to identify your shoe preferences and then start with stocking up on the basics.