Episode 10 – Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Episode 10 – Light At The End Of The Tunnel

READ HELEN’S BACKSTORY 1 HERE

READ HELEN’S BACKSTORY 2 HERE

It was very unlike Yemi to keep me waiting, I glanced at my watch again, getting impatient. It’s not like I had anywhere to go to or something else to do, truth is I wasn’t very sure I wanted to have this session.

If I had to be honest, my therapy sessions in Room 88 have brought me more peace and made me stronger with my emotions. Asides my sister Abigail, Yemi has been the only other person who I could completely be myself with and shed all my inhibitions.

Knowing that today’s session was about moving forward, it made me anxious knowing I’d have to face all the hatred and bitterness piled up in me.

“I’m so sorry for keeping you waiting Helen, I was held up in traffic, I should have set off earlier.” He paused, searching my face for a reaction, then said “We could reschedule if you want”

“No , it’s fine. I was getting a bit agitated to be honest, but it had nothing to do with you being late. That would only have been an excuse. You’re here now, let’s get started.” I answered.

I fidgeted with my fingers as I waited for him to settle in. All our sessions had been either at the beach front or a pool side. This time, we had settled for a hotel lounge that overlooked a lot of beautiful greenery.

“You look nervous Helen, tell me why”. He asked after he had taken off his jacket and sat down on the couch opposite mine.

“Actually, I’m nervous. I know at some point, I’m going to have to face my mum and I’m not sure I’m ready for that” I replied with a sigh.

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“It’s a good thing you can admit that, but you are going to face her and tell her exactly how you feel. That is the only way you will be able to let go of all the anger and bitterness in you. That is what will bring you freedom from these negative emotions, it is what will help you heal fully from all the losses, disappointments and failures. Only then can you accept yourself, accept your life and accept the love shown to you. May I add that God has blessed you with Alex? That man loves you deeply and genuinely.” Yemi said, dismissing my fears.

I sat there, quiet. I couldn’t deny the fact that Alex really loved me. His love seemed like an extension of George’s. And it was because of him I was having these therapy sessions. The least I could do for him was save myself to be able to love him in return.

The session was brief, as Yemi expected me to get to work immediately. I contemplated going to see my mum with my sister, Abigail but I decided it would be best for me to see her alone. It was such an awkward meeting. I was almost moved to tears when I saw her. She looked so worn out and exhausted, she looked like she hadn’t seen the sun since my dad passed. I was giving in to pitying her, but I knew I had to do what I had to do to free myself from the bondage. After we exchanged pleasantries, I went straight to the point.

“Mummy” It didn’t feel right calling her that. “I came to see you today because I need to get a lot of things off my chest. Life has not been easy for me, right from when I was a child. I never seem to be able to get anything right or hold on to anything good. You and dad never failed to remind me of how I would never amount to anything, years down the line, it is manifesting itself. The only thing working for me now is my career. I paused and then went on, “I’m here because I want to know what went wrong when you gave birth to me or if you’re really my mother, I want to know why you and daddy hated me so much and why I was never good enough for you.”

I watched her as she sat there, her face revealing no emotions whatsoever. I waited for her to respond and hung on to every word she said.

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Her voice came out emotion laden and almost in a whisper, like she was scared to speak “I have struggled all these years blaming myself for all your misfortune. The guilt of how your father and I treated you, more than anything else I am sure is the cause of my ill health. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell you or your sister how I sick I’ve been. Abigail never comes to visit and she barely takes my call. I wish I could go back in time Helen. I have failed as a mother.

Tears streamed down her face as she spoke, looking at her closely, I could see the deep lines of regret etched around her eyes. I couldn’t fight back the tears that had clouded mine, they fell freely, but I sat still where I was, resisting the urge to put my arms around her.

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“When I got pregnant”,She continued, “We weren’t ready for a baby, your dad blamed me. It was with so much hate that I went through the pregnancy and eventually had you. It was easy to blame all our misfortunes on you and it grew with us the more we did it. You never did anything wrong Helen, we were just bad parents to you, blinded by our ignorance and foolishness. Abigail was different because we decided together to have another child. I wish I knew better, I wish I did better and I am sorry. I really am” She burst into fresh tears as she continued to apologize over and over again.

In that moment, I didn’t know how to feel or what to feel. But I heaved a huge sigh of relief. Relief from all the burden I had carried over the years feeling like I was a mistake in God’s creation. Relief from all the hate I harbored in my heart towards the people I called parents. All of a sudden, I knew I was going to be a mother and I knew I wasn’t going to be anything close to what my mother was. I got up with that strong conviction and went to sit by her side, as I wiped her tears and promised to take care of her.

“Tonight, I make a toast to the best experience I have ever encountered in my entire life. Helen is more than a woman, she is beyond human, she is an experience, a beautiful experience by the way, my 8th world wonder and I know that God was being very generous when He blessed me with her.”

I smiled as Alex raised his glass as he made the toast. It was my 50th birthday and we were having a very intimate dinner party in our garden. I was surrounded by everyone I held dear to my heart. My sister and her family, my staff, a few of Alex’s friends, Yemi, Misan, Felix and his family, Femi and his family, who had all become more than friends to me. For the first time in a very long time, I felt at peace, I was happy, very happy.

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After the meeting with my mum, I called Abigail and told her about it, she was very happy I had made the move. I spent more time with her as I could manage and tried to work on our relationship. It wasn’t the easiest of things to do but it was important to me to mend the broken fences and I’m glad I did.

Ruth and Rachael, the seven year old twins we had adopted two years ago came out to give a beautiful rendition of Boys II Men – Song For Mama. I opened up my arms as they ran up to me after the performance and gave me a hug. I felt the baby kick in my womb and I smiled again.

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This has to be my favorite so far, is anyone cutting onions around here. And there we go with Helen’s happy ending. Such a happy ending, she deserves nothing but happiness for the rest of her life.

Misan is our very last character and she’d be up next in the next and final episode of ROOM 88. Let me know what you think about this one, click on that smiley or drop a comment below.

It’s your girl, Jay

Xoxo

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