Endangered In Heels – Episode 3 – My Recurrent Nightmares

Endangered In Heels – Episode 3 – My Recurrent Nightmares

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“This is the 3rd time i’m having this dream in a space of 2 weeks Aunt. Each time i wake up, it’s always so real. I’m literally panting and can feel the sweat on my skin just like in the dream. The last thing i remember is being wide eyed with fear and then running into strong arms and a calming voice telling me i’d be fine.” I recounted my dream to Mrs Anele.

 

Outside work, Aunty Rose as i fondly called her had become something of a mentor, friend and confidant to me. I shared a few of my deep moments with her and that is because over our years together, i had come to trust her intuition, analysis and wisdom. I am a very private person but with her i felt really comfortable and secure. She was non judgmental, empathetic and straight forward.

 

 

I am not what you would call a religious person. I was born and raised in a christian home. My mum taught us to pray and we went to church on a regular basis. At some point, my sisters and i joined the choir but the moment i noticed the hypocrisy among the members, i found my way out and became a ‘bench warmer’. As i grew older, i developed my spirituality. I believed in God a 100%, i believed in the power of prayers and having faith.

 

 

On my own i developed a personal relationship with him outside the church setting. As an adult, i found a church where i liked the delivery of the sermon and their worship sessions. An hour and a half was enough for me to fellowship on a Sunday morning. I would praise and dance my heart out, worship without any distractions, enjoy and take note of the word, give my offerings, exchange pleasantries after the service and off i go.

 

 

The recruiters and assistant holy spirits in my church had since gotten the memo and had stopped trying to get me to join their many church groups. I attended mid week services when i could, paid my tithes dutifully and gave to every worthy cause as much as i could and God had continued to have my back even when i was out of line, the best part was how He constantly showed me mercy.

 

 

To me, Christianity is in the heart – how you treat people, how you treat yourself, your thoughts, motives and disposition towards life. You can’t be attending all church services from Sunday to Saturday, be in the choir, drama group and technical department and see your neighbor standing in the rain and not be able to give him a ride.

 

 

“That is the hand and voice of God Timehin and just as that voice said, you’d be just fine. Keep praying about it and be extra sensitive to the things happening around you. God reveals a lot through dreams, we just need to pay attention. Write down the details of the dream and mark the dates you’ve had them, it will all come together” Mrs Anele said.

 

 

It was the same setting, i was dressed up for a date or an event, i especially remember the shoes – Red pointed pumps with about 5 inch stiletto heels. Just as i am getting into the car, someone tries to grab me from behind and instinctively i break free and start to run. At the point where i trip and fall and pick myself up to keep running is when i run into the arms that save me.

 

 

 

 

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It had been about 3 weeks since the night i drove to Sope’s house to see her. Sope and i met back at the Polytechnic and of all the girls i met in my years of study, she was about the only one i can say i genuinely liked a 100%. I was about 2 years older and felt this constant need to protect her. She had such an innocent mind and was kind to a fault but always fell into wrong hands. She probably had the longest list of heartbreaks in the history of relationships, yet she never stopped loving.

 

 

That night, when i got to her place, she had broken down in tears lamenting about how Tayo, her live in lover had impregnated another girl. What got me the most was when she asked me if she should go ahead and get pregnant for him so she could keep him. I couldn’t understand why such a beautiful, highly intelligent, well endowed woman would subject herself to the humiliation that came with being at the mercy of a low life man. He was living in her house, eating her food, driving her cars and spending her money. I wish i could slap the madness out of her.

 

 

 

“Sope, i don’t know why you are putting up with this rubbish. You are better than this, you deserve better” I told her after she had narrated her story to me.

 

 

 

“But i love him Timehin and i know he loves me, i know that girl is just trying to trap him”, she replied sobbing profusely.

“If i would just get pregnant, then we can have a quiet wedding and start a family, that will keep him grounded.” She said as a matter of fact.

 

 

 

I was highly irritated, if it was another random person, i would have left. But it was Sope, i needed to find a way to save her from her stupidity. She was only going to ruin her life and i wasn’t going to sit around and watch her do so.  I stood up from where i sat and moved closer to her.

 

 

 

“Sope, listen to me. Getting pregnant for him would put you in the same position as this other girl. You would only be trying to trap him too. Look at me, you are a very beautiful girl with a beautiful heart. You are smart, intelligent and fun to be with. You are an asset. Tayo doesns’t love you, he’s only using you. He lives off you and has absolutely no respect for you. I am your friend and i believe i have proven myself to be one. I want to see you happy. I know you desire to get married and have kids and you will, but it should be with the right person, Sope, someone who truly values you. Wake up and stop making excuses for Tayo.” I paused, i wasn’t sure what was going through her mind.

 

 

 

Image result for silhouette of two women talking

 

 

 

“When you have decided all you want to do is have sex and make money, i don’t expect you to know and understand anything about love. I’m sorry i called you into this” Sope said to me.

 

 

I smiled, i didn’t feel bad about what she said, what i felt was pity for her. Tayo’s dick game was clearly on point cos clearly she had lost her mind. I picked up my bag, it was time to go home, it had been a long day and i was tired.

 

 

“I wish you luck with whatever decisions you take babe. I have to go now, i have an early start tomorrow.” I gave her a quick hug and left.

 

 

We had talked a few times after that but nothing that had to do with her relationship. She had also apologized about what she said. I was contemplating calling her to check up on her, but i didn’t want to be the one to bring it up the matter again.

 

 

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“How did your date go and when do i get to meet this one?, i asked Kola with raised eyebrows.

 

He had picked me up from my house to drop me off at the salon after which we planned to go and have one bad ass point and kill Cat Fish Pepper Soup in Alausa, Ikeja, one of our many discoveries later in the evening.

 

 

“I’m honestly tired of this endless match making games by my folks. I wish they’d understand that i’m not interested and stop giving these girls false hope. This one bored me, i won’t lie. She kept going on and on about how she was self made and self sufficient, clearly confused about whether she needed a man or not. You know, trying to form feminist and i’m so sure if i had led her on, she’d have ended up in my bed”

 

I laughed, “A lot of these babes are confused, they are missing the whole point about this feminism thing. It’s okay for a woman to have her own, value herself and not lose her personality. Where i have a problem is how they have turned it to a war against men, like it’s some kind of competition and deep down inside, they are dying of loneliness”

 

 

He took his eyes off the road and turned to me, “Are you dying of loneliness?”

 

 

I laughed again, “I am not at war with men, i am not the modern day feminist, i just don’t feel like i am cut out to be in a committed long term relationship. I am definitely not dying of loneliness”, i said as i laughed again.

I continued, “So tell me Kola, why have you decided against marriage, i have known you all my life and i know how family oriented you are. What went wrong?”

 

 

 

He sighed, “Let’s leave that for point and kill time, i don’t know if my reasons are valid but maybe you’d be my shrink tonight. The whole thing just scares the shit out of me, i mean it’s supposed to be forever. I would ask you the same question too, get your answers ready o”. He answered.

 

We got to the salon, i dropped off and he promised to pick me up at home later when i was dressed and ready. I tried to put together an outfit in my head. I certainly didn’t want to have to suck belle, so it had to be something easy and loose. I was starting to add a bit of weight, the scale said 2.3kg, i needed to shave that off.

 

I wasn’t quite sure what i wanted to do with my hair but i knew i didn’t want anything dramatic, so i settled for a pony tail, got a manicure and pedicure, fresh for the new week. It was going to be a busy one. I got an uber to take me home, took a long, hot bath and took a nap. I woke up about an hour later, panting and sweating profusely, it was the same dream. This time, there were no arms to catch me, i woke up when my attacker was about to strike me with what looked like a machete.

 

I immediately got on my knees and started to pray, i felt the fear deep within. My heart wouldn’t stop palpitating. I must have prayed for 30 mins before i felt some calm. This was more serious than i thought. I took a glass of water, took another bath and called my mum. I told her about the dreams and the frequency. She promised to come over the following day.

 

I got dressed in a maxi dress i wasn’t in the mood to look fancy. I left my face bare, thankfully my skin was glowing from my recent water therapy. I called Kola and told him i was ready, while i waited for him, i tried to think of anyone who could be planning to hurt me. No one came to mind, what does this dream mean? This time around, no arms to run into.

 

 

 

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It’s the 3rd Episode of Endangered In Heels, What are Timehin’s dreams driving at, could there really be anyone after her life?

 

What is your take on this issue of feminism? It seems to me that a lot of women are missing the point, but i’d like to read your thoughts. I support the notion that a woman should have a sense of self and be empowered. But it shouldn’t be a war against men.

 

Are we going to raise a generation of girls who will grow to ‘hate’ men for no reason and lose out in the blessings and joy of having healthy relationships.

 

Let’s meet in the comment section. Next week is here already, i know you’re eager. I am too (*wink*)

 

Peace, love and more shoes

Xoxo,

Jay.

 

Click To Continue To Episode 4

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