Diary Of A Shoe Lover – Season 2 Episode 1 – 5 Years After
Read Season 1, Episode 9 here
“I have to go now” said Ivie, as she picked up her Gucci bag and car keys and gave me a peck on the cheek.
“This Osas’ school management can just be very over sabi, like they love the children more than we the parents. If we’re more than 10 minutes late in picking them up, it’s a problem” She said, as she waved and walked towards the door of the restaurant where we just had lunch.
It had been 5 years after her wedding to Eddy and Hakeem’s proposal to me and so many things had happened. Ivie now had a 4 year old daughter and another baby on the way. Pregnancy suited her and she had stuck to her healthy habits all the way and she remained as fashionable as ever but in a more mature way.
Since she got married and had Osas, she was almost always on the move. It was with a deep sense of commitment we had managed to keep our Tuesday lunch dates.
Motherhood looked good on her and she was dedicated to it a 100%. Aishat and i teased her a lot about how she had sacrificed her long artificial nails and 30″ weaves for natural nails and braids. Their plans to relocate to the USA had been cancelled, and 2 years into their marriage, she had started a Travel and Tourism Company with plans to resign her paid employment with the Oil and Gas firm she worked for.
It had been a tough decision to make, but she also wanted enough time to cater to her family which her paid employment didn’t allow her. Starting a Travel and Tourism Company had been an idea she had played with in the past and with the support of her dad and husband, she had brought it to reality.
About a year ago, precisely one year and 2 months ago, she lost her dad. He had suffered a heart attack and didn’t make it to the hospital alive. It was a very devastating moment for her. Soon after the funeral in Benin, she resigned and faced her business fully. It gave her enough time to function as a wife, a mom and an entrepreneur and she was lucky to have reliable staff who helped her run the company effectively.
Hakeem and i got married, yes we did. It was the happiest day of my life, saying “I Do” to him. But it didn’t happen immediately. It didn’t happen for another 18 months, i needed to be sure i was doing the right thing. I knew and had acknowledged i was head over heels in love with him and was convinced that he loved me even more, but i needed to know what our future together was saying, as regards our career, having kids, finances and so on.
I had attended a lot of marriage classes and listened to quite a number of sermons on the successes and failures of marriages and i had learned that asides the love and friendship, all these other issues needed to be discussed. We had argued over a number of issues and had to make compromises over some.
The most difficult part of it was as regards my career. Hakeem had suggested that i stop working and start a business which he would fully support, because he wanted me to be there for the family when we started to have children. There was no way that was going to happen and i told him so, when he kept insisting, i threatened to call off the wedding. After a few days of not speaking to him, he had come over to my house.
He was sitting in the garden in front of the house looking all fresh in his shorts and tee, i walked up to him.
“If you’re here to talk about me leaving my job to have babies and cook for you, you might as well leave” I said, looking away with my arms folded across my chest. I had missed him terribly in the 3 days i had been ignoring his calls and all i wanted to do was hug him. He looked tired and maybe frustrated with my wahala.
“Will you at least sit down and hear me out?” he said and pulled out a seat for me. I sat down and relaxed.
“Babe, i’m not asking you to leave your job to have babies and become a cook as you have put it. All i’m saying is we need to be realistic about our future together and the well being of our children”
The way he said “Our Children” made my heart smile and i knew i wasn’t letting this one go. I relaxed and leaned in to listen.
“You know what it means for both of us to be away from home up to 12 hours everyday locked up in meetings all the time trying to meet deadlines and targets. What i’m saying Salewa is i don’t want strangers raising our kids, i want us to be there for them. I can’t promise to do school runs all the time or take them swimming every weekend, but i will be as present as i can be. But you Salewa, as their mum, need to be there through every phase especially the foundation years. See how well you turned out and how responsible you are, it’s because your mum made the sacrifice.” he stopped, waiting for a response.
I sighed, he was right. The thought of strangers raising my child didn’t sit well with me. And yes we both had demanding jobs. But my career meant a lot to me, it was the one area i really excelled and got everything on merit and i wished to rise to the position of Head of my department. Family however has always been important to me.
“Are you sure you don’t have children somewhere? This one you’re talking about school runs and swimming lessons, won’t i get pregnant first?” I teased him trying to lessen the tension in the air.
“I hope i don’t have to propose again and chase you another 2 years, this one that you have called off the wedding, you too dey vex sef, ahn ahn!” He said, i laughed.
“Another ring won’t be a bad idea sha. On a more serious note, i hear and understand everything you are saying and i totally agree with you on having to be there for the children when they come. At the same time i do not want to throw away my dreams and become redundant because i became a wife and mummy, that would make me terribly unhappy”.I got up from my seat and went around to hug him from behind. I continued,
“How about i keep my job for now, since we have agreed to have a 1 year gap after marriage before having kids, i’d enjoy my job while it lasts and explore other areas where i can start up my own thing,”
“Sounds like a fair plan”, he said as he planted a kiss on my forehead. “Can we go for a drink to make up for these 3 days, i missed you and i know you missed me too, get your bag before i change my mind” he said with a smirk on his face.
It had been 3 years now and we have no kids yet. Because we had agreed not to get pregnant in the first year, i was on birth control, i opted for the coil as i didn’t want anything to mess with my hormones. 6 months after we started trying and still nothing. I had started to worry, but Hakeem thought nothing of it. One year, two years now and i was in full panic mode. We have been to 3 different doctors in Lagos and one in Dubai who have assured us that nothing is wrong and we just have to be patient.
I was still at my job and was now head of my department. I was in tow for the Managerial position and i was starting to think my hunger for my career rise was he reason i wasn’t getting pregnant. I was now silently considering resigning.
Hakeem had been a rock in all of these but i couldn’t stop worrying because i know how much he yearns to have children. If God will bless me with just one. My phone rang and i realized i had been sitting in the restaurant since Ivie left, it was Hakeem.
“Hey love, are you free for lunch?” He said
“Hiya, i just had lunch with Ivie at The Place, but i can come with you and watch you eat” i said not feeling as jovial as i made to sound.
“I bet you can, you don’t sound too chirpy, wasup? Or how about i pick you up from home at 7pm, let’s go see a movie and you can tell me what’s on your mind” He said
“Ok baby, sounds good, i’d go back to the office briefly and then head on home to get ready, i love you” i said, as a tear dropped. I had been overly emotional in the past few months and everything made me cry.
“I love you too Salewa, see you soon” he replied and hung up.
I picked up my bag and walked towards my car, mentally putting out together an outfit for the movie. I didn’t feel like playing dress up, that had been lost on me in the past year. But Hakeem loved it when i looked good, according to him, i made him look good and he spoiled me silly with fashion items. He had moved back to Nigeria after we got married to head the Lagos branch of his firm but still traveled a few times for business meetings.
My only prayer was for God to complete our picture with a child.